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August Blog Post with Human Life Review: Targeting Down’s Today, Autism Tomorrow
 
As I went through the paperwork, I was aware of a familiar hollow feeling in my chest. It was the one I had when my older son was diagnosed with autism.

This past March, while the world was still in COVID-crisis mode, my husband and I were in a crisis of our own. We had applied for guardianship of our son Peter, who has mild to moderate autism and had just turned 18. We felt an urgency to secure it as quickly as possible, because if he became sick with COVID and were hospitalized without guardianship, we could find our ability to direct his care severely limited.

But when we received the documents from our attorney, stipulating in black and white that my husband and I would be, technically, adversaries of our son in the guardianship court case, I felt a flash of that soul-deep anguish I had felt at Peter’s diagnosis. His limitations, both personal and social, were spelled out in the paperwork. I cried.

I was taken back to December 2005 and the moment when the developmental pediatrician first spoke the words, “Your son has autism.” At first, I couldn’t breathe. It was probably only a few seconds, but it felt much longer. And then, suddenly, I was sucking in great gulps of air as I tried to control my distress and tell the doctor the story of our son. I began by recalling that while I was pregnant with Peter in late 2002, a marker for Down syndrome had showed up in a routine ultrasound.

I was sent to a perinatologist for follow-up and a more thorough screening, but I got in an argument with him because he insisted that I have an amniocentesis. When I said I didn’t want one, the doctor—who had seen me for all of five minutes—persisted, arguing that “some couples like to terminate the pregnancy.” His words made me angry. I told him that we would be keeping our son no matter what and that I was refusing to have an amniocentesis. As he was leaving the room, his parting words were, “Well, you have a 25-percent chance of having a child with Down syndrome.”

He wasn’t telling me anything I didn’t already know—I had a 25-percent chance of having a child with Down syndrome based on my age alone. He said it to show that science was on his side and to scare me into agreeing to the amnio, which just made me angrier. But it also made me sympathetic toward women who feel compelled to consent to extensive prenatal testing only to be pressured into having an abortion if their unborn child is diagnosed with a disability.

Instead of getting the amnio, I saw a different specialist who ordered additional ultrasounds to check for any other markers or health issues that could require Peter to have surgery after birth. The doctor was astonished at Peter’s size—he weighed four pounds while most babies at 26 weeks weigh a little less than two pounds. She eventually concluded that the marker for Down syndrome was probably related to how big Peter was at such an early stage of pregnancy. After two months, we were told that he did not have Down syndrome.

Now I had just been told that he had autism. As I recounted the story about the Down’s marker to Peter’s pediatrician, I wanted her to know—and I guess I needed to say the words out loud—that we would fight for our son. We had before and we would again.

All children are miracles, but my husband and I were told we would have trouble having them—if we were able to conceive at all. Our daughter was born on our fifth wedding anniversary; two years later I suffered a miscarriage. Becoming pregnant with Peter two years after that was no less of a miracle than the birth of our daughter. After concluding that we would be blessed with only two children, our youngest was a surprise, arriving seventeen months after his older brother.

I have never regretted for a moment having children with special needs (our younger son was diagnosed with autism about six months after Peter) but I know the world can be cruel—espousing acceptance of people with disabilities on the one hand while on the other pushing to “eliminate” disabilities by pressing abortion on the expectant parents of children who don’t pass the sonogram or genetic test.

Not surprisingly, in a December 2020 article in The Atlantic, the chief scientific officer of Genomic Prediction, a New Jersey company that screens embryos for IVF treatments, said that the one test customers continually ask about is for autism. Such a test doesn’t exist—not yet. Scientists have identified several genes that can indicate a probability of an autism diagnosis but so far, no test can reliably pinpoint it in utero.

I feel a special affinity with people who learn an unborn child has Down syndrome. These children are often targeted for abortion, with doomsayers like the perinatologist I saw pointing to all the negatives that await prospective parents. Children with autism likewise will be targeted as soon as the science makes it possible.

For all the problems it can solve and all the wonders it can create, science has a dark side, manifest in the quest to identify—and discard—those who are not “normal.” As science advances, our society retreats from extending true, life-long (from conception through natural death) compassion to those with disabilities.

*This post first appeared on Human Life Review’s blog in August 2021

It’s Been A While…

Unfortunately, my job and the organizations I volunteer for all demand much of my time but especially my writing skills. Today, I have a draft press release I’m working on (work), a play I need finish editing for this year’s use that I wrote a few years ago (volunteer), an e-blast (volunteer), and converting the press release for work into an e-blast (work). Plus, I have a board meeting tonight (volunteer) that was called at the last minute. This is all just today’s list.

I really need to finish re-working the play by tomorrow because it needs to be copied and placed in binders for students who will be attending the camp. There they memorize the play, act, work on set design and makeup and then perform for parents on Friday at the end of the week. The play is approximately an hour and twenty minutes and the kids learn original songs as well. (I don’t write those and I don’t pretend to know how. We have a very talented camp director who is a vocalist. He writes the lyrics and composes the music which he has converted to sheet music for the kids to use.) It’s time-consuming but also a labor of love.

I’ll get it all done. If anything, writing as much as I do makes me a faster writer and that makes things easier for me.

The Loss of Simple Concepts Like Respect and Courtesy

There has been a lot said in recent years about the loss of courtesy in our society today but I would argue that it’s not courtesy that has been lost but respect. Respect for each other, respect for “rules,” and respect for authority figures such as parents or the elderly who are in our lives. With the loss of respect comes the loss of courtesy.

The loss of respect for others is evident in the way we have become divided by race, age, income, and beliefs. On Twitter, for example, the biggest battles come from one person disagreeing with another. It’s starts with a disagreement but often ends with name calling that belittles or shows deep hatred for people who have never met each other in person. 

Then there is the vast group-think of those who glom onto the argument, who don’t respect the humanity of the person they may disagree with, or even recognize that he or she is– more importantly– made in God’s image.

As someone who is pro-life and who works in the movement, I have to walk a fine line of of criticizing those I disagree without making them sound less than human or evil incarnate.

Misguided? Yes. Ignorant of the truth? Possibly. Willfully blind to the truth? Probably. Evil? No. Less than human? No.

They, too, are created in the image of God and have the same right to life. A person can always change their mind and come to faith–today, tomorrow, next week, or next year.

If they are alive, they can change.

Courtesy and respect will return when people once again recognize that those they disagree with are human beings and not somehow less than human.

As the poet John Donne wrote:

No man is an island entire of itself; every man

is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;

if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe

is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as

well as any manner of thy friends or of thine

own were; any man’s death diminishes me,

because I am involved in mankind.

And therefore never send to know for whom

the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.